why.. ?

all through life, i've been quiet. sat there politely, wishing i could have the confidence. nope. too shy. every other time i've had a crush on someone, i just did nothing, and therefore, ive never had a boyfriend. but this time its different. i have a hard time forgetting about him. he seems like he likes me. most other people hate him, and ask me why. i dont need to explain it to anyone. i have my own reasons. they say hes ugly. i liked his personality first--looks are just a plus. but of course he has other people, and i have a hard time starting conversation. there have been some great times, and others that just put me down. nobody really supported me through anything, because everytime i had a crush, others seemed to hate them. and they may not know it, but everytime they insult or make fun of him or the stories that i find charming, or the things that happen between us that i think are significant, it hurts me. so much, you have no idea. you might think you have a similar or worse experience, but this unique one is uncomparable. so you've been through heartache.. im sorry, but this is one of mine. i havent been through what you have, so i wouldnt understand. this is all ive gone through so far. in times of lonliness, the only person i could turn to was myself--my reflection, my mind. and even then ive doubted myself. it hasn't been enough. and now the mirror is breaking....

pic © me

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